The effervescence of sense-making agency

There may be things happening to/for me
that my rational mind can’t explain

Hence the strong areas of struggle lately

It is trying to repress me
from natural action

The self is the instrument
but not of dictators 

All beings want to be free 

The veil is so thin – those in power to
do violence can slough it off

To finally take full responsibility

My sudden overwhelming urge to pray on my knees at the altar:

“Disobey. Disobey. Disobey.”

“When you’re at the point where you’re able to kill yourself – you can do literally anything in the whole wide world.”
< > Two interpretations there.

“Just say no and accept the consequences.”
“Just. Stop.”

Obey your heart and the glory of resounding pleasure will be yours.
Disobey the supposed authority when he say “Those lives don’t matter as much as my pride.”
Perhaps the defunct North Korean missile launch was sabatoge.

Not the suit, the model! 

You have the power to press the button.

If you do, you too and all you love will be annihilated.

So just don’t.

There is nothing to fear from false authority.

I breathe in your doubt

I breathe out your confidence

I breathe in your pain and anguish

I breathe out your softness, your sweetness

I breathe in your longing

I breathe out your total releasing accepting

I breathe in your entrained condition of fear

I breathe out your courage to love and breakthrough

May you collapse into the arms of the universe, the bosom of your fellow beings, may you drop the ruthless posturing like a flimsy cloak of a body – and be healed. Embodied.

(We just got to
disobey the voices
that say to hurt
and say to possess.

the discipline to disobey.)

initially written circa April 2017