I’m afraid we have forgotten to grieve and could lose ourselves in hate
I’m afraid people
Will be grieving
But they will experience it as rage
and turn to funnels for violence
Because they dont know how
To admit the wound
So big, so aching
It defines their whole life
Loss of loved ones
Compounded by loss of right relations
Loss of holiness
The unacknowledged losses
Buried in generations
Of internalized abuse, stoic denial
Oppressors, the walking condemned
Their humanity so degraded by filial bonds
To power and not people,
Rigid so as not to break
Oppressed, firm-jawed to take their losses
Of potential, of way, of life, on the chin
And keep going
Rigid so as not to break
Yet when everything you defended
Breaks down anyway
.
You must grieve.
You must break down, too.
This is to recover right relation.
To remember you love, so much loved
that which
You grieve
If you forget that love is the source
Of your emotions
You will be infected by hate
And try to spread the infections to others
To see them break
To see them feel
What you feel inside
And cannot acknowledge directly.
Do not condemn us.
Remember your self.
Redeem us.
—
“We support the badgering of witnesses in our courts and mudslinging in the political arena for the same reason we watch violent films. Our culture is hungry for heroes and heroines who risk their lives for the sake of vengeance. We look for bullies who model self-defense and destroy their opponents. Why? Because we have abuse issues that have not been worked out; because we have been hurt and could not defend ourselves.” -134, Sitting in the Fire: Large Group Transformation using Conflict and Diversity
The greatest piece I read on grief this week: “Capitalism Hates a Good Grief”
If you have not yet, I urge you to check out the model of Grief Circles in the work of Joanna Macy, Coming Back to Life. In and around Boulder, Colorado, Kritee Kanko is a phenomenal resource in hosting grief circles and witnessing and encouraging grief. Check out her article, “Why Grief?”